I don’t remember the first novel I ever read. I’ve been reading stories since as far as memory goes. My earliest memory is of reading Feluda’s comics.

This piece goes out to my childhood favorite – the Harry Potter universe. I chanced upon the first book in a rickety, old library in second standard. I loved it immensely. It was one of the original thick books, with thousand or so thin pages, in a not so square binding and no illustrations. I remember not being able to understand some of it, but I speed read through it in a few days. I miss that. That feeling of believing in something magical without being cynical.

As I grew up the HP universe got more political. I went back to HP books a lot of times during these years. Sometimes when my parents were traveling in other cities, these books made me feel home. I knew those characters, I could see how they would react and I thought the creatures were so very real. That world was sacrosanct for me for many, many years.

I read it again when I was in college. I could see the politics in it this time more clearly. This may have been a children’s book series, but it had sometimes in your face politics and sometimes subtle telling of the ways in which characters were portrayed.

However, it was finally fully developing into my own identity and reading j.k. rowling’s views which made me realize that the books, were, in fact, more damaging than truly magical. The magic was blemished now.

I didn’t relate with hermoine, I was angry at the way she dealt with the boys’ emotional naivety, all the while being a background support. I hated the way fleur was made a femme fatale symbol. I was angry that dumbledore was “revealed” as being gay in the aftermath of the books – more like an announcement by the author, but it wasn’t portrayed as a part of his identity in the books.

So, I won’t go back to HP again, but I’ll miss the magic nonetheless. I’ve read a lot of fantasy fiction over the years, and none of it has made me belong as much as it did. Maybe it was due to growing up with the HP universe, or maybe it was due to the writer’s woven words. I remember the sheer excitement I felt when I read about the Hogwarts express every year and looking ahead to their school term.

I hope when the next magical fantasy comes, it doesn’t let anyone feel left out.